Keeping a house tidy can be exhausting. Especially, when you feel like you are doing most of the work. If you feel like you are doing more than your share around the house, I want to share with you three loving ways that will have your spouse helping in no time.
3 Ways to Encourage Your Spouse to Help
Serve them
In reality, you can never force your spouse to change and be more helpful. The only persons actions you can change are your own. So the first step to encouraging your spouse to help out more is for you to help them out.
This might sound contradictory because what you are probably really wanting is to make less work for yourself. However, you will find as you help your spouse they will want to offer the same to you in return.
It is human nature to think of ourselves first in many situations, but if you can get past that, and instead put your spouses needs first you will ultimately be happier. As you think of your spouse first, you will find that not only will your spouse appreciate it, but also they will often reciprocate by putting your needs first.
When my husband and I were first married, I took a marriage class. One week, our assignment was to do something selfless for our spouse each day. I did little things here and there throughout the week.
What I realized, is it was hard to do something “selfless” for him because the more I did for him; the more he did for me in return. Not only was I feeling good for doing nice things for him, but he was also showing appreciation for my kind actions in thoughtful ways of his own.
So if you want more help from your spouse, forget about your own wants and think of theirs first. Even if they don’t end up helping out more, you will feel more love towards them as you willing serve them.
Thank them
When your spouse is helping around the house sincerely thank them. Everybody likes to feel appreciated. Your spouse is no different.
When you praise them and let them know how much you appreciate their help, you are more likely to get more of the same behavior in return.
Often times with the everyday grind of life we can forget that our spouse isn’t obligated to do what we want them to. You would never try and force a friend or stranger to do your dishes. We would probably ask them kindly, be super appreciative and maybe even reward them.
You should give the same appreciation to your spouse for the help they give you. As they put in their time and effort to improving your home you should offer them gratitude.
I know I love it when my husband thanks me for making a meal. Even without a thank you I would still cook the meal anyways, but hearing the appreciation makes the task more enjoyable. It also makes me want to keep doing it because I know he appreciates the effort I put into making our meals.
Don’t criticize them
Lastly, when your spouse does help out around the house never criticize them.
You can ask your spouse to do something, but you can’t force them to do it a certain way. There really isn’t one right way to do anything. If you think a task needs to be done exactly a certain way then you should probably be doing it yourself. What is important is that you have a spouse who is willing to help.
If you follow these three principles not only will you find your spouse helping out more around the house, but they will have a positive affect on your marriage as well.
Thank yous go SOOO far…I know I’m more willing to do things when truly appreciated.
I also find that if there is something I would like to have done, that asking what I can do to help make it happen, or be taught to do it myself, that always helps with the to-do-list.
Jessica White recently posted…Life Saving Tips from a Mama of A LOT of Littles {2 and under}
That is great advice. Sometimes we forget our spouses most likely have to-do lists of their own. So if we need them to do something for us there is most likely steps we could do to help also. Having them teach you how to do it so next time you can do it yourself is even better. Thanks Jessica!
Not married yet, but surely would keep these in mind. Great post. #ibabloggers
I agree completely with this! When I first got married I had to remind myself not to nag. Being positive and asking does a lot more than nagging ever will!
Cassie recently posted…Monthly Motivation Link Up V.1 I.2
So true Cassie! You get more done and feel happier when you ask with a positive attitude.